https://www.tiffinandart.com/blog daily 0.75 2026-03-05 https://www.tiffinandart.com/blog/9awea5earfg8d5t-hr6ng-rhxm8-cg4g4-tayjb-4epjr-g7ak3-e78zb-a3tc9-b4sgl-s4245-xmbde-9z5bp-dl4s7-ep2wn-76rbk-ekyaz-hp3es monthly 0.5 2026-03-05 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62141d6f2ffa8f7036300da8/e6f9a1e8-d7fc-412b-be3f-ab245d33d380/IMG_4836.jpg Whispers of the C - 56. Wings to Fly Again - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62141d6f2ffa8f7036300da8/710f1b20-778f-45ae-89f8-4613048ffa55/IMG_4828.jpg Whispers of the C - 56. Wings to Fly Again I heard the Whispers of “life” . . . . . “you are here” https://www.tiffinandart.com/blog/9awea5earfg8d5t-hr6ng-rhxm8-cg4g4-tayjb-4epjr-g7ak3-e78zb-a3tc9-b4sgl-s4245-xmbde-9z5bp-dl4s7-ep2wn-76rbk-ekyaz monthly 0.5 2026-02-26 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62141d6f2ffa8f7036300da8/01c7b24b-cb48-4dec-b729-882ea38566db/IMG_3733.jpg Whispers of the C - 55. Never Ending Story - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62141d6f2ffa8f7036300da8/1a4bff6a-2b52-468e-9267-ffdaf5ea2764/IMG_3769.jpg Whispers of the C - 55. Never Ending Story I heard the Whispers of “ fear “ . . . . . “you will defeat me” https://www.tiffinandart.com/blog/9awea5earfg8d5t-hr6ng-rhxm8-cg4g4-tayjb-4epjr-g7ak3-e78zb-a3tc9-b4sgl-s4245-xmbde-9z5bp-dl4s7-ep2wn-76rbk monthly 0.5 2026-01-31 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62141d6f2ffa8f7036300da8/63350dbc-be6d-4bcb-b5e5-4ea428c2452f/IMG_0764.jpg Whispers of the C - 54. Dreaming into 2026 - Thank you 2025 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62141d6f2ffa8f7036300da8/30688dc3-09a3-4900-99fb-07f501516c32/IMG_4294.jpg Whispers of the C - 54. Dreaming into 2026 https://www.tiffinandart.com/blog/9awea5earfg8d5t-hr6ng-rhxm8-cg4g4-tayjb-4epjr-g7ak3-e78zb-a3tc9-b4sgl-s4245-xmbde-9z5bp-dl4s7-z2mg7-s3j76-z7nkx monthly 0.5 2026-02-01 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62141d6f2ffa8f7036300da8/f2b08d4a-5628-4e39-b966-713c9da4a808/IMG_2468.jpg Whispers of the C - 53. Colours - I always saw white as a blank canvas. It waits for colours to be added. It has been a norm. It symbolises so many things differently. Pure, clean. It can be a pain at times when you wear white, because stains & spots becomes more obvious than the dress. Like my cancer… https://www.tiffinandart.com/blog/9awea5earfg8d5t-hr6ng-rhxm8-cg4g4-tayjb-4epjr-g7ak3-e78zb-a3tc9-b4sgl-s4245-xmbde-9z5bp-dl4s7-z2mg7-s3j76 monthly 0.5 2026-01-29 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62141d6f2ffa8f7036300da8/075ea05a-1850-4fff-be44-39a014986a01/IMG_1287.jpg Whispers of the C - 52. This thing called Life - How lucky am ? If I didn’t have Cancer, would people often tell me “how lucky you are ”? Lucky to be alive? Lucky to have good friends? Lucky to good health-care? Lucky to be strong & still standing? I have stopped believing in luck long time ago. I am grateful for this thing called life, not lucky. https://www.tiffinandart.com/blog/9awea5earfg8d5t-hr6ng-rhxm8-cg4g4-tayjb-4epjr-g7ak3-e78zb-a3tc9-b4sgl-s4245-xmbde-9z5bp-dl4s7-z2mg7 monthly 0.5 2026-01-29 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62141d6f2ffa8f7036300da8/d9dac1c2-01b9-438c-a435-0e514f974f17/IMG_9259.jpg Whispers of the C - 51. Stepping into 2025 - Stepping into 2025, with my high heels on! Yes, despite the lows & highs, am still able to stand taller in my high heels. My legs felt royal. How a dress, a heel, a smile & red lipstick can hide the fact I was operated in September with a 3-months’ down-time! https://www.tiffinandart.com/blog/9awea5earfg8d5t-hr6ng-rhxm8-cg4g4-tayjb-4epjr-g7ak3-e78zb-a3tc9-b4sgl-s4245-xmbde-9z5bp-dl4s7 monthly 0.5 2024-12-11 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62141d6f2ffa8f7036300da8/d38aca37-8e47-45dc-bddd-012d4e2549fa/IMG_8378.jpg Whispers of the C - 50. THE News - Being strong is tiring. It’s energy craving & drains you till you feel sick. I no longer have the energy to even say “be strong” to myself. Screw “strong”! I just want to be me & go through whatever that comes along, my way. No, the song “I did it my way” is not playing in the background. https://www.tiffinandart.com/blog/9awea5earfg8d5t-hr6ng-rhxm8-cg4g4-tayjb-4epjr-g7ak3-e78zb-a3tc9-b4sgl-s4245-xmbde-9z5bp monthly 0.5 2024-11-08 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62141d6f2ffa8f7036300da8/6ab98c87-2cf0-4af6-93e2-224299f017ec/IMG_7935.jpg Whispers of the C - 49. Opperation Recovery - Hate it when you have to say reconstruction of breast & you hear people say, “wow! you get a free boob job”! Change places with me then. I had no plans to change my freak body with only one breast but other factors played a role. Breast reconstruction does not mean cancer free for life. https://www.tiffinandart.com/blog/9awea5earfg8d5t-hr6ng-rhxm8-cg4g4-tayjb-4epjr-g7ak3-e78zb-a3tc9-b4sgl-s4245-xmbde monthly 0.5 2024-10-06 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62141d6f2ffa8f7036300da8/85f18cc2-6076-4d94-a344-b5a765fcd22e/IMG_7896.jpg Whispers of the C - 48. Pre-Opperation Thoughts https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62141d6f2ffa8f7036300da8/40ab60c8-4c6d-47b7-b93a-f04d2e2969f3/IMG_7885.jpg Whispers of the C - 48. Pre-Opperation Thoughts https://www.tiffinandart.com/blog/9awea5earfg8d5t-hr6ng-rhxm8-cg4g4-tayjb-4epjr-g7ak3-e78zb-a3tc9-b4sgl-s4245-2ltmp monthly 0.5 2024-07-07 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62141d6f2ffa8f7036300da8/d93ab321-5314-434e-8d4c-a8b433794f15/IMG_4468.jpg Whispers of the C - 47. Colourful Birthdays - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62141d6f2ffa8f7036300da8/c1bf7b5a-1275-4656-bf84-d5f9a4918f3b/FullSizeRender.jpg Whispers of the C - 47. Colourful Birthdays https://www.tiffinandart.com/blog/9awea5earfg8d5t-hr6ng-rhxm8-cg4g4-tayjb-4epjr-g7ak3-e78zb-a3tc9-b4sgl-s4245 monthly 0.5 2024-03-21 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62141d6f2ffa8f7036300da8/8afea023-1f86-4542-8e3a-9d2253372f44/IMG_5732.jpeg Whispers of the C - 46. I Feel Good - If someone had said a year ago today, that I’d be fine I wouldn’t have believed it. Even I can’t believe that I have actually pulled myself out of the black hole I slipped into. Depression. Invisible depression. Yes, last year, I couldn’t see myself being able to look at back one day & say just that. I’m discussing this again, but in detail this time, because mental health doesn’t stop here just because I’ve managed to pull myself out. It’s an ongoing issue; it’s fragile. It’s still invisible but reversible. I feel good today. https://www.tiffinandart.com/blog/9awea5earfg8d5t-hr6ng-rhxm8-cg4g4-tayjb-4epjr-g7ak3-e78zb-a3tc9-b4sgl monthly 0.5 2024-07-06 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62141d6f2ffa8f7036300da8/51fe6694-73e6-4ea6-99a9-6c06a5ff5db6/IMG_5307.jpeg Whispers of the C - 45. Ikigai and Me - I started the new year with no New Year’s resolution. “No expectation, no disappointment” mantra have upheld my sanity in most circumstances & interactions with some people last year & it hopefully it continues. It’s a tough blanket to take comfort under I must admit but it helps in the long run. It dampens the blow. If I throw this blanket over my breast cancer it helps to take away anxiousness every time I have a medical appointment. “It is what it is” mantra was born out of this. https://www.tiffinandart.com/blog/9awea5earfg8d5t-hr6ng-rhxm8-cg4g4-tayjb-4epjr-g7ak3-e78zb-a3tc9 monthly 0.5 2024-01-14 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62141d6f2ffa8f7036300da8/e74dde25-4c0c-4efe-9ae0-c3c3384c8f35/IMG_2910.jpeg Whispers of the C - 44. Sailing into 2024 - Exactly a year ago, got into festive mood to celebrate the fuss of welcoming the new year, in the same country. I have survived another year. Grateful for my best friend, the Cancer for its generosity: the obvious growth of my hair, being able to usher in 2024, adding a beginning of yet another year, to breathe, to dance, to annoy people & most of all, to be me. https://www.tiffinandart.com/blog/9awea5earfg8d5t-hr6ng-rhxm8-cg4g4-tayjb-4epjr-g7ak3-e78zb monthly 0.5 2024-01-12 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62141d6f2ffa8f7036300da8/c5198226-e3fe-4284-a88c-c9368532e25c/IMG_4672.jpeg Whispers of the C - 43. Still Standing - Sometimes I do not know exactly where am I in this journey because it’s not easy to put into words how you feel and what’s happening. You want to forget whatever the result you get & yet nothing concrete to put your brain at ease. Physically I feel good especially after a good training where my thighs hurt when I climb up the stairs! I am still standing. https://www.tiffinandart.com/blog/9awea5earfg8d5t-hr6ng-rhxm8-cg4g4-tayjb-4epjr-g7ak3 monthly 0.5 2023-11-07 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62141d6f2ffa8f7036300da8/fd1f9976-5485-47d2-bd9f-289c1d0de25f/IMG_4149.jpeg Whispers of the C - 42. Am I Scared? - No one have ever asked me “are you scared?” until now. It has always been the standard thing one would say to a sick person - “are you okay? you look good & you are strong; you are will be fine” I would have done likewise in a similar situation. Was I scared when they told me “I’m sorry to say this, you have cancer”? I don’t think so. Was I scared when I went in for my operation, all my by myself? I don’t think so. Was I scared when they told me that big C had metasised? I don’t think so. https://www.tiffinandart.com/blog/9awea5earfg8d5t-hr6ng-rhxm8-cg4g4-tayjb-4epjr monthly 0.5 2023-10-06 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62141d6f2ffa8f7036300da8/09391490-ffa9-4be5-ba99-f01d6c663e85/IMG_2666.jpeg Whispers of the C - 41. Back to reality - A good long break means you still reel in the goodness of it in days, months to come, clinging onto the people’s warmth & surrounding (esp Japan) that broke my shell. And hoping my memory save it in the hard drive of my brain as long as possible. And to avoid falling into the black hole, I chose this mantra all along, especially while in Malaysia: “no expectation no disappointment” https://www.tiffinandart.com/blog/9awea5earfg8d5t-hr6ng-rhxm8-cg4g4-tayjb monthly 0.5 2023-10-06 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62141d6f2ffa8f7036300da8/01dc871d-afb2-4f82-adf1-ac4971da1b79/59db30ed-a823-4dfd-8d9a-26273d921fd2.jpeg Whispers of the C - 40. Finding Myself Armed with thoughts from my sessions with my therapist, I decided I needed to take a break & go away for a long break. Go to a place far away from Sweden & Malaysia. And I needed to go back to my hometown to see if all my anxieties, the final stage that pushed me into the black hole, make me fall again or make me let go. The only weapon I had was my mantra “no expectations = no disappointments” https://www.tiffinandart.com/blog/9awea5earfg8d5t-hr6ng-rhxm8-cg4g4 monthly 0.5 2023-06-07 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62141d6f2ffa8f7036300da8/fd132389-f535-48ab-8b1f-326c771ece5e/08E88740-C8FA-48E9-9934-16B3F4FA66ED.jpeg Whispers of the C - 39. Simply Smile When you are born, an expiry date is created somewhere. That’s the circle of life. In my opinion anyway. You cannot throw a tantrum about it. But when you are born, no one in the right mind would think of this. You simply bring utmost joy, you become the centre of everything, you are photographed every second. If anything you are blessed with a “long life”. Unless of course you have a step sibling who wants you dead because you will now share inheritance! Just like in the movies! So I smile... https://www.tiffinandart.com/blog/9awea5earfg8d5t-hr6ng-rhxm8 monthly 0.5 2023-05-05 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62141d6f2ffa8f7036300da8/12f3fbab-8eaf-42ec-a72a-daf9bd7cfa39/9972A648-39B8-4EE6-8AD4-C7925F1ABCEB.jpeg Whispers of the C - 38. My best friend! - During my session with my therapist, she said something which made me think hard. How can I not know that there is always one best friend who will always be by your side no matter what, during good & bad times, through thick & think. Like a shadow. In fact we all do. I am MY best friend! You are YOUR best friend! It took a cancer’s hug & a therapist to point that out to me. So treat yourself like how you would treat your best friend, my therapist said. Are you surprised? I am. Yet it made sense. For now anyway. https://www.tiffinandart.com/blog/9awea5earfg8d5t-hr6ng monthly 0.5 2023-04-06 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62141d6f2ffa8f7036300da8/1680551309437-CEQZFFZPWIA24VKQNBW1/EFC5146D-723C-41DD-AA7D-96088664A535.jpeg Whispers of the C - 37. At Least You Have … - One year anniversary of the butchering of my breast - cancerversary - am I suppose to celebrate? Believe me when I say am grateful to live to say “wow, it was one year ago”. But it never crossed my mind to actually celebrate with a cake depicting a breast & cutting it into pieces! Actually it would have given me pleasure just disecting it! Hmm..maybe next year in celebration of my one-year remission. https://www.tiffinandart.com/blog/9awea5earfg8d5t monthly 0.5 2023-03-11 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62141d6f2ffa8f7036300da8/1678553396916-M5INL5MZVM1MYH47WMB8/48D181FB-E545-4236-BD7A-AE57EACC882F.jpeg Whispers of the C - 36. Bumpy Ride to Recovery - When I was a kid, anything that swooshed across the sky was either a rocket or a shooting star. No one questioned or doubted! Not even my mother. Now, my eye sight seems to play the same game. Maybe I see it but who cares & who needs affirmations? Just when you think depression, exhaustion, muscle pain, sleep deprivation overflows & there can be nothing more to add because it is inhumane even for a devil, you are faced with something you least imagine or expect. The dark sky somehow allows you to see all the magic you need to see. It blankets everything real. Don’t forget to look up at the sky once in a while - it is free. https://www.tiffinandart.com/blog/the-verdict-1-lhd96-f8gwc-gyjse-63wnh-32hnj-g6mx3-kep56-rceec-g8azn-atghb-65mt5-j5xkc-bg33j-7xte2-xk73y-ps6n9-s87g9-drneb-lapxb-g3wth-d6897-yda5g-8sxs6-ml29l-f829w-j6rnz-5jy2p-8np3d-4dk83-pt8dg-e6hf5 monthly 0.5 2023-03-01 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62141d6f2ffa8f7036300da8/bc491ea8-cd5c-4b37-b634-c072a71f580d/92FB330A-3685-40E7-997A-122CFE0C4E64.jpeg Whispers of the C - 35. I Owe It To Myself - To get out of the black hole before I fall deeper inside & disappear, the first step was to unapologetically accept the fact I needed help to claim back the crazy me. Need to see a therapist. But to claim back the fit & strong body (yes it was the envy of my mirror) that I had last year January I had to accept the fact that my thighs, my tummy, my under arms were flabby now. No love from others was going to do the job. I had to take my butt to the gym. I owe it to myself to prioritise myself. https://www.tiffinandart.com/blog/the-verdict-1-lhd96-f8gwc-gyjse-63wnh-32hnj-g6mx3-kep56-rceec-g8azn-atghb-65mt5-j5xkc-bg33j-7xte2-xk73y-ps6n9-s87g9-drneb-lapxb-g3wth-d6897-yda5g-8sxs6-ml29l-f829w-j6rnz-5jy2p-8np3d-4dk83-pt8dg monthly 0.5 2023-02-12 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62141d6f2ffa8f7036300da8/7d16fad4-2df1-41e8-bca3-32c913b250ab/94C6A2D3-51B6-4F66-9B40-631ABC5C591D.jpeg Whispers of the C - 34. Invisible Depression The dictionary’s take on the word depression is ‘the state of feeling very unhappy & without hope for the future’ . ‘A mental illness’. No, I have no medical capacity to indulge deep into this. It is so wide; everyone is an individual going through an individual mental illness. It’s personal. But the black hole exist for everyone going through this & is described differently. I can only tell my story. Unfortunately, breast cancer patients are prone to this sorry state of mind. And it is not visible. https://www.tiffinandart.com/blog/the-verdict-1-lhd96-f8gwc-gyjse-63wnh-32hnj-g6mx3-kep56-rceec-g8azn-atghb-65mt5-j5xkc-bg33j-7xte2-xk73y-ps6n9-s87g9-drneb-lapxb-g3wth-d6897-yda5g-8sxs6-ml29l-f829w-j6rnz-5jy2p-8np3d-4dk83 monthly 0.5 2023-01-12 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62141d6f2ffa8f7036300da8/a37fb36a-2ef9-493c-8ea4-274ec7b976db/B33A368B-F6DF-46D6-8037-30F1C4FED847.jpeg Whispers of the C - 33. The Door to 2023 Ok we celebrated to welcome 2023, treated it like royal; we wore the ‘right’ dress, cooked up the ‘right’ dishes, & hung out with the ‘right’ people at the ‘right’ place. I leave it you to define right. Danced, drank, laughed loud, talked loud & some had the privilege to get drunk; some happy drunk telling you several times how much they like you; some drunk miserable to insult others. Ever wonder why people do that in welcoming a new year? Insecure? Miserable? Or perhaps it is a norm? Then suddenly it is 2023! Fanfare or no fanfare, drunk or not, it is here. It did not wait for anyone to get sober. But damn, Cancer did not leave me! But it was ready for a deal …. https://www.tiffinandart.com/blog/the-verdict-1-lhd96-f8gwc-gyjse-63wnh-32hnj-g6mx3-kep56-rceec-g8azn-atghb-65mt5-j5xkc-bg33j-7xte2-xk73y-ps6n9-s87g9-drneb-lapxb-g3wth-d6897-yda5g-8sxs6-ml29l-f829w-j6rnz-5jy2p-8np3d monthly 0.5 2023-01-11 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62141d6f2ffa8f7036300da8/d803e3c8-a6f2-45c4-842b-a4132e1f4e0b/50605FCA-56E8-4CB6-BBFE-9D910E7919C7.jpeg Whispers of the C - 32. Oh My 2022 I don’t know what else I should look back in 2022 but cancer. Was I strong? I do not want to self pat myself & say how strong I have been. Because I do not know if I was strong or just was strong because everyone was saying it all the time during my journey, so much so that I convinced myself that I am. Being strong was the only option. https://www.tiffinandart.com/blog/the-verdict-1-lhd96-f8gwc-gyjse-63wnh-32hnj-g6mx3-kep56-rceec-g8azn-atghb-65mt5-j5xkc-bg33j-7xte2-xk73y-ps6n9-s87g9-drneb-lapxb-g3wth-d6897-yda5g-8sxs6-ml29l-f829w-j6rnz-5jy2p monthly 0.5 2022-12-05 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62141d6f2ffa8f7036300da8/0a4f1e79-25bd-43e5-aa44-587f7dbdf612/77E60782-793A-4DC7-825E-6E11E18F0BAA.jpeg Whispers of the C - 31. Self Awareness Every morning, when I do my make-up, I consciously beginning to notice the changes the mirror is reflecting. Silver crowning glory slowly spreading its stubs on my once shining bald head. Not just silver but also some dark shades; my sister calls it salt & pepper. It is changing my profile. Yet another me that I now must learn to adjust; to adapt; to accept; to love. Should I wear the wigs that I tried at the hospital saloon, while on chemo? I do look happy with it, no? https://www.tiffinandart.com/blog/the-verdict-1-lhd96-f8gwc-gyjse-63wnh-32hnj-g6mx3-kep56-rceec-g8azn-atghb-65mt5-j5xkc-bg33j-7xte2-xk73y-ps6n9-s87g9-drneb-lapxb-g3wth-d6897-yda5g-8sxs6-ml29l-f829w-j6rnz monthly 0.5 2022-11-23 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62141d6f2ffa8f7036300da8/2bc47189-1b14-4559-b63f-83e9c4bea7ad/62DE6931-5D81-46B2-BC43-F4628DEA3B73.jpeg Whispers of the C - 30. The Umbilical Cord According to Google, when an umbilical cord is cut, “it cuts off the flow of blood between the baby & the placenta”. The cord is no longer needed despite it being the sole connection to comfort & warmth while the baby is in the womb. When I left the radiation department for the last time, I took a deep breath as though I was now let go, to walk on my own, to let go the comfort & care of those who understood me; who let me cry; who let me have a bad day, good day. I was an “accepted” cancer patient. This umbilical cord was cut. Deep breath again. https://www.tiffinandart.com/blog/the-verdict-1-lhd96-f8gwc-gyjse-63wnh-32hnj-g6mx3-kep56-rceec-g8azn-atghb-65mt5-j5xkc-bg33j-7xte2-xk73y-ps6n9-s87g9-drneb-lapxb-g3wth-d6897-yda5g-8sxs6-ml29l-f829w monthly 0.5 2022-11-04 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62141d6f2ffa8f7036300da8/0e60048d-118c-42b8-b5f9-64dd5adb14a8/B5631454-1BF0-4E15-9E9F-536BC231755F.jpeg Whispers of the C - 29. I got “Radiated” Radiation! I hesitated to write immediately because I just didn’t know how to put into words how I felt the first day of radiation. Was I suppose to feel anything in the first place? Or was my mind expecting to feel something? Something to write about. Something to surprise the skin off my chest! https://www.tiffinandart.com/blog/the-verdict-1-lhd96-f8gwc-gyjse-63wnh-32hnj-g6mx3-kep56-rceec-g8azn-atghb-65mt5-j5xkc-bg33j-7xte2-xk73y-ps6n9-s87g9-drneb-lapxb-g3wth-d6897-yda5g-8sxs6-ml29l monthly 0.5 2022-10-12 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62141d6f2ffa8f7036300da8/1e2a0f7e-2760-4c14-af13-fcb5df3752f0/345810BF-53BB-4DD8-9FC2-69EDCC9A054C.jpeg Whispers of the C - 28. Welcome to Radiation Everyone has heard of radiation & connects it to cancer. I did hear about it too, long before cancer chose me. I had no idea how it worked but somehow knew it had to do with cancer, not just breast cancer. Now, I am in a position to know first hand what it is all about & how it works. See how reality fixes this scenario? https://www.tiffinandart.com/blog/the-verdict-1-lhd96-f8gwc-gyjse-63wnh-32hnj-g6mx3-kep56-rceec-g8azn-atghb-65mt5-j5xkc-bg33j-7xte2-xk73y-ps6n9-s87g9-drneb-lapxb-g3wth-d6897-yda5g-8sxs6 monthly 0.5 2022-10-09 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62141d6f2ffa8f7036300da8/6022ca2c-0dce-41d1-bd14-30a0236655c6/Blog.jpg Whispers of the C - 27. Journey’s ‘Titbits’ Have you ever been in a situation where everything seems to flow smoothly? Where your sadness cannot squeeze into your happy mood? Where you breath without sighing with pain, laugh without breaking your voice, smile without cracking your cheeks, eyes without traces of sadness, though they are always overflowing with tears which is actually the effects of chemo! Damn! https://www.tiffinandart.com/blog/the-verdict-1-lhd96-f8gwc-gyjse-63wnh-32hnj-g6mx3-kep56-rceec-g8azn-atghb-65mt5-j5xkc-bg33j-7xte2-xk73y-ps6n9-s87g9-drneb-lapxb-g3wth-d6897-yda5g monthly 0.5 2022-09-08 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62141d6f2ffa8f7036300da8/0c444be5-b6d7-43df-93f5-06e752dc9696/2E76F35C-E6AD-4156-993F-5E731F9609D7.jpeg Whispers of the C - 26. Hidden Emotions Cancer is emotionally a lonely roller coaster journey. It consumes your very presence, the air that you breath, your thoughts even when you are asleep. It meddles with my mental flirtation, damn it. Am half way through with my treatment but have overwhelming feelings, denials, thinking of all those who stuck with me & those who got tired of hearing my shit. I don’t want to misunderstand cancer. https://www.tiffinandart.com/blog/the-verdict-1-lhd96-f8gwc-gyjse-63wnh-32hnj-g6mx3-kep56-rceec-g8azn-atghb-65mt5-j5xkc-bg33j-7xte2-xk73y-ps6n9-s87g9-drneb-lapxb-g3wth-d6897-k4a3t-ct3ep monthly 0.5 2022-08-30 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62141d6f2ffa8f7036300da8/a8fc0d01-63a3-4d3d-9a2f-2a5232852d4e/DE9140EB-B831-4056-8F08-47EA3F35B704.jpeg Whispers of the C - 25. Being Sick The definition of being sick is seamless. No boundaries. It is allowed to spill over your vocabulary. Forget the damn dictionary which only gives its version of it. There is no right or wrong. How you describe being sick is your own description & need not be justified by the unemotional dictionary. Nor by any human being. Acceptance is not necessary. I am taking a '“take it or leave it” attitude. My sickness is mine & mine alone, just like yours is yours. Please don’t normalise sickness because of what you have been taught to accept. https://www.tiffinandart.com/blog/the-verdict-1-lhd96-f8gwc-gyjse-63wnh-32hnj-g6mx3-kep56-rceec-g8azn-atghb-65mt5-j5xkc-bg33j-7xte2-xk73y-ps6n9-s87g9-drneb-lapxb-g3wth-d6897-k4a3t monthly 0.5 2022-08-22 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62141d6f2ffa8f7036300da8/5065ccbe-0f3c-4565-b49b-e3ac9781878c/45AEA939-3A3C-43BD-B364-60CBCD884FE6.jpeg Whispers of the C - 24. Reflections - End of Chemo I have seen the words “chemo brain” being used by cancer patients, warriors, fighters, survivors or all the names they go by. You are bigger than all these names by the way. Scientifically it is a kind of chemo fog, cancer related cognitive dysfunction & doesn’t disappear immediately after completing chemotherapy. To break it down it challenges the emotional & mental health. They come in waves, intense. https://www.tiffinandart.com/blog/the-verdict-1-lhd96-f8gwc-gyjse-63wnh-32hnj-g6mx3-kep56-rceec-g8azn-atghb-65mt5-j5xkc-bg33j-7xte2-xk73y-ps6n9-s87g9-drneb-lapxb-g3wth-d6897 monthly 0.5 2022-08-22 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62141d6f2ffa8f7036300da8/beb2a00c-01fc-4f2b-ad85-3aa4e63a43c7/F5313CBD-0406-49C0-BE61-EEA52DA00271.jpeg Whispers of the C - 23. Cancer’s Version of Love The word love is sometimes mistakenly chosen as an exclusive word for couples only. Boy meets girl, boy meets boy, girl meets girl, & boom they are find LOVE, fall in LOVE, & sometimes fall out of LOVE. The dictionary says the opposite of love is hate. In my crazy opinion the fault lies in the above scenario. Love is everywhere, in every thing we touch, feel, breath, caress, eat, drink, dance. Being alive! Then how can the opposite be hate? https://www.tiffinandart.com/blog/the-verdict-1-lhd96-f8gwc-gyjse-63wnh-32hnj-g6mx3-kep56-rceec-g8azn-atghb-65mt5-j5xkc-bg33j-7xte2-xk73y-ps6n9-s87g9-drneb-lapxb-g3wth monthly 0.5 2022-08-22 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62141d6f2ffa8f7036300da8/4dd1be77-ea47-4e08-ba18-d1cadc1b58ee/814D3455-B305-42EA-AA34-181AA06BBD4E.jpeg Whispers of the C - 22. Butterflies in my Tummy It occurred to me the other day, chemo are chemicals that are poisonous, for the right reason, administered to clean out everything out of my body, especially to remove the alien which clings onto & multiples despite a huge protest & plea. I asked myself, does it really remove everything? Everything that makes me human? Does it drain out all feelings a human being have or develop? Does having cancer mean I cannot fall in love? Feel the butterflies in my tummy? Or fall out of love for the matter? https://www.tiffinandart.com/blog/the-verdict-1-lhd96-f8gwc-gyjse-63wnh-32hnj-g6mx3-kep56-rceec-g8azn-atghb-65mt5-j5xkc-bg33j-7xte2-xk73y-ps6n9-s87g9-drneb-lapxb monthly 0.5 2022-08-22 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62141d6f2ffa8f7036300da8/f66f7026-0a34-4a76-80cd-fe18adc91119/IMG_1087+2.jpg Whispers of the C - 21. 2nd Phase Treatment Sounded like a milestone cleared when they tell you that now I am onto the 2nd phase of the long treatment. I almost hear people cheering & clapping their hands behind me as I race towards the pink ribbon which frees itself & wraps around me as if in a hug. But wait, no one tells me that at the end of the race there is a pit. A steep black one; I hardly could brake my legs to stop. I try to grab the pink ribbon but is wrapped around me, as though willing to fall into the pit with me. I hit hard. https://www.tiffinandart.com/blog/the-verdict-1-lhd96-f8gwc-gyjse-63wnh-32hnj-g6mx3-kep56-rceec-g8azn-atghb-65mt5-j5xkc-bg33j-7xte2-xk73y-ps6n9-s87g9-drneb-lapxb-tmmaf monthly 0.5 2022-08-22 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62141d6f2ffa8f7036300da8/a08a9aae-0e60-48d8-b0ba-cabbc21a3128/FullSizeRender+4+2.jpg Whispers of the C - 20. CT-scan Results Ever since my breast cancer changed status to metastatic, my mind created many dramatic scenarios, but you wouldn’t know because I always seem to smile away my visible problems, so hiding my invisible problems was not difficult. However, someone said to me, my eyes are the give away because it seems to have some kind of sadness behind it but never surfacing. Beautifully said but I was being me; what is out of my control, I cannot do anything about it, so why speak of it. https://www.tiffinandart.com/blog/the-verdict-1-lhd96-f8gwc-gyjse-63wnh-32hnj-g6mx3-kep56-rceec-g8azn-atghb-65mt5-j5xkc-bg33j-7xte2-xk73y-ps6n9-s87g9-drneb monthly 0.5 2022-08-22 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62141d6f2ffa8f7036300da8/6185bf33-5881-4c98-be65-45df8375c68d/IMG_6572.jpg Whispers of the C - 19. What Defines Me? It has been months since I shaved my head. Have I got used to it? It is not a matter of getting used to it; it is more of whether I was letting it define me. My head has attracted attention, no doubt, some flattering, some always saying “I still have some hair” referring to the tiny spikes of hair which comes off when you pull them. The question of what suits the outfit I wear; bald as it is or tie a scarf, wear a hat, or a cap. Who or what was I pleasing? Why am I adapting to my surrounding and not loving myself, with or without hair? https://www.tiffinandart.com/blog/the-verdict-1-lhd96-f8gwc-gyjse-63wnh-32hnj-g6mx3-kep56-rceec-g8azn-atghb-65mt5-j5xkc-bg33j-7xte2-xk73y-ps6n9-s87g9 monthly 0.5 2022-07-09 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62141d6f2ffa8f7036300da8/5254912a-5ea3-4843-96c2-1729baedd659/QUHWE4491.jpg Whispers of the C - 18. Reflections: 3rd Chemo I try to be strong; everyone tells you to be strong; you brainwash yourself to be strong. The word STRONG echoes around you, you see it in every message sign off from people who really care. I do that too, to others. But when something beyond your control happens, you crumble despite your fight against it. I didn’t have the strength to be strong. Somehow people around you crumble too but on a different platform, on a different level, unknowingly. So how do you define strong then? https://www.tiffinandart.com/blog/the-verdict-1-lhd96-f8gwc-gyjse-63wnh-32hnj-g6mx3-kep56-rceec-g8azn-atghb-65mt5-j5xkc-bg33j-7xte2-xk73y monthly 0.5 2022-06-28 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62141d6f2ffa8f7036300da8/ee7faea1-29d9-46c8-8104-0573d47df778/2D5FA5D3-D949-4D06-A466-B7C44A0798C4.jpg Whispers of the C - 17. Grateful - Every time I dress up & put on my make-up & go into Alice in Wonderland scenario, I reflect how it is all a child’s play. Yes, children have this capacity to play make-believe scenes (observe the next time you see children play) without any reason or the need to hide behind & find solace. They get immense joy out of it, full of fun & giggles etc. And here I am, doing exactly that but on a different level, with a need to get away from it all. https://www.tiffinandart.com/blog/the-verdict-1-lhd96-f8gwc-gyjse-63wnh-32hnj-g6mx3-kep56-rceec-g8azn-atghb-65mt5-j5xkc-bg33j-7xte2 monthly 0.5 2022-06-22 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62141d6f2ffa8f7036300da8/650e4ae5-7930-4e57-989e-5dbd0e8826be/IMG_5172.jpg Whispers of the C - 16. Love me : 2nd Chemo - What is the standard look that needs to be projected to say “I have cancer”? Or is there really one? Don’t we have the right to look good? Many times I hear people say I don’t look sick, in person or in the photos I put up. Like I said in the beginning, I will not put up pictures of how cancer is raping me, nor will I let cancer rob what I like to see in the mirror. I don’t have to look sick to be sick. https://www.tiffinandart.com/blog/the-verdict-1-lhd96-f8gwc-gyjse-63wnh-32hnj-g6mx3-kep56-rceec-g8azn-atghb-65mt5-j5xkc-bg33j monthly 0.5 2022-05-28 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62141d6f2ffa8f7036300da8/d4fd7d66-9b6e-40c3-9e23-e43df5c485aa/IMG_5218.jpg Whispers of the C - 15. 1st Chemo - I no longer want to say I am going to be strong. I can’t because I have no control. It is no longer in my hands. I am just going to “dance through this” my way. I must learn to fly away a lot. Just when these thoughts were going through my mind, a dear childhood friend Anu sends a song “You’re Still God”. It made me cry & after playing on repeat, it became a pick-me-up song. https://www.tiffinandart.com/blog/the-verdict-1-lhd96-f8gwc-gyjse-63wnh-32hnj-g6mx3-kep56-rceec-g8azn-atghb-65mt5-j5xkc monthly 0.5 2022-05-22 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62141d6f2ffa8f7036300da8/30c7c713-0e1c-46aa-8c62-125af6557693/IMG_5482.jpg Whispers of the C - 14. The Hair I love - It was like a scarifice for Cancer. No matter how prepared you say you are, it is all mentally. When you actually about to do it, somehow, your mental preparation goes burst & it becomes chokingly painful, inside you. Shaving my hair. Am smiling here, but it was difficult to hold back the tears & the lump in your throat almost choking me. As tears came down my cheeks, my sister Geetha held my hand as though she knew my pain, without speaking. Linus had the task to make me “beautifully bald”. https://www.tiffinandart.com/blog/the-verdict-1-lhd96-f8gwc-gyjse-63wnh-32hnj-g6mx3-kep56-rceec-g8azn-atghb-65mt5 monthly 0.5 2023-11-27 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62141d6f2ffa8f7036300da8/507ca673-6fa9-4e55-9c28-c6661e504fa9/IMG_4784.jpg Whispers of the C - 13. The Air to Breathe - Have you ever wondered why we take things for granted? No really, we never intentionally take things for granted - it has always been so, right? Then out of no where, someone or some forced situation greets you with a cynical smile and say “don’t take things for granted” Then your doubts clouds you and you give in and say admirably “yes, I cannot take things for granted, especially the air that I breathe” Don’t go further than that! https://www.tiffinandart.com/blog/the-verdict-1-lhd96-f8gwc-gyjse-63wnh-32hnj-g6mx3-kep56-rceec-g8azn-atghb monthly 0.5 2022-09-13 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62141d6f2ffa8f7036300da8/b5e29be8-1dd2-4cca-b85e-94120b4e0ff6/OWTUE4882.jpg Whispers of the C - 12. Joys & Doubts - Sometimes, when “expectations” hit real hard, doubts creep in like a slow sip of poison into your mind. These expectations are voluntarily-given-expectations, not something expected. When you are battling something called Cancer, people come forward saying, “don’t hesitate to ask for help”; “please accept whatever help people give”; “learn to depend on others”. It is difficult for everyone around you to rally round you and it is equally difficult to ask for help because you do not know where to draw the line of selfishness and kindness. Please do not mistake me. I am ever so grateful for all those who are genuinely there for me; no, not to hang onto every second of the day but when you need them the most. https://www.tiffinandart.com/blog/the-verdict-1-lhd96-f8gwc-gyjse-63wnh-32hnj-g6mx3-kep56-rceec-g8azn monthly 0.5 2023-11-27 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62141d6f2ffa8f7036300da8/2ed9936a-ed2a-45af-956f-54312021bbde/IMG_4274.jpg Whispers of the C - 11. Positive Verses Gentle - The novelty of being a cancer victim wears down quickly for some people. That’s when you start to hear how “other people have recovered so quickly; you will be back to normal; you look fine; you don’t seems to have any pain”. I beg you. Being positive, dressing up, and loads of pain killers are the culprits! Am running out of lip sticks. I have no intention to show how this thing called breast cancer can knock me down, and look sick and miserable! I am blessed I am able to smile away my misery. https://www.tiffinandart.com/blog/the-verdict-1-lhd96-f8gwc-gyjse-63wnh-32hnj-g6mx3-kep56-rceec monthly 0.5 2022-04-23 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62141d6f2ffa8f7036300da8/d5b9854c-af8d-415a-8cce-4dd6084ab406/IMG_0335.jpg Whispers of the C - 10. The Slow Journey - My body has changed, that is obvious, and the only reminder was the pain in your chest. Something was not right but it is difficult to find the exact words to describe how I feel. It was not flat because of the compressors that was taped to my chest. Mentally that was good. I mentally try to block out what they have done to my body, got ready for the first day for the rest of my life. Yes, I have done a mastectomy! https://www.tiffinandart.com/blog/the-verdict-1-lhd96-f8gwc-gyjse-63wnh-32hnj-g6mx3-kep56 monthly 0.5 2022-08-22 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62141d6f2ffa8f7036300da8/5f8488da-1ea6-4fe9-89bd-7d722be32585/IMG_4094.jpg Whispers of the C - 9. Home Again - As I stepped into the house, I realised, I was going to be all alone. Part of me wanted that and part of me wanted to have someone there to welcome me with a cup of warm tea. Somehow, the need to be alone weighed heavily. I did not know how to grieve the loss of part of my body - my breast. https://www.tiffinandart.com/blog/the-verdict-1-lhd96-f8gwc-gyjse-63wnh-32hnj-g6mx3 monthly 0.5 2022-04-01 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62141d6f2ffa8f7036300da8/f06bd4c4-cdb9-4baa-92d3-a6cf9dbf2b7e/IMG_4290.jpg Whispers of the C - 8. The Operation - It was finally here, like it or not. 15 March. I have heard & read about mastectomy, always related to some famous persons in the media. You hear about friends’ friend or someone’s best friend doing likewise but you don’t feel the pain. But here I am, today, going to do exactly that. But I still cannot feel the pain. I was calm. https://www.tiffinandart.com/blog/the-verdict-1-lhd96-f8gwc-gyjse-63wnh-32hnj monthly 0.5 2022-03-26 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62141d6f2ffa8f7036300da8/a9e9ff83-d441-435e-a2e5-b1a72e7e1a3a/IMG_3933.jpg Whispers of the C - 7. The Decison Every visit meant taking one step closer to finding the right solution to handle the breast cancer. A lot of guessing, reading too much on the internet and hearing so many version of how people knew people who had breast cancer. They all meant well but I just followed the different thoughts the hospital had. At first I thought they would remove the tumours and have chemo. Sounded all so simple and no complications. Right? https://www.tiffinandart.com/blog/the-verdict-1-lhd96-f8gwc-gyjse-63wnh monthly 0.5 2022-03-26 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62141d6f2ffa8f7036300da8/6b5ab7fc-5826-4811-bad6-c48877ae39f2/IMG_3720.jpg Whispers of the C - 6. Humanity Not everyone understands the ‘most terrifying’ feeling when you say cancer. Some run away, some ignore it, some think it is no big deal. Whatever opinion the people had on this, humanity does rise up to its glory in so many ways, that you start to begin to believe in people as a human being. Yes, strangers come forward to show their kindness in ways that warms your heart. https://www.tiffinandart.com/blog/the-verdict-1-lhd96-f8gwc-gyjse monthly 0.5 2022-03-27 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62141d6f2ffa8f7036300da8/1ed16ea7-d9e7-4778-8ae2-c44a1d652f72/IMG_3718.jpg Whispers of the C - 5. Reality It is so so difficult to ask for help because something always tells you that you should not bother others, you cannot be helpless. The biggest fear is that people might let you down. It is a difficult barrier to break. I remember having a conversation with a friend Linda who said that is is okay to let others want to take care of you; want to help you; to receive their help without feeling guilty. Sort of a permission to accept the above. https://www.tiffinandart.com/blog/the-verdict-1-lhd96 monthly 0.5 2022-03-26 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62141d6f2ffa8f7036300da8/5904b9b3-268b-4269-b2e8-b87fcb4bc402/IMG_3355.jpg Whispers of the C - 4. In A Hurry The shock stayed for a while but I guess reality will hit soon. You get to hear things like “Now you need to focus on yourself and no one” and “putting yourself first is not selfish anymore”. “I need to think me”. It may sound easy but if you have not done so for years, it takes a lot of reminders and I had plenty who stood behind me to remind so. Plus, my songs and those imaginary dancing partners as well…. https://www.tiffinandart.com/blog/the-verdict-1-lhd96-f8gwc monthly 0.5 2022-07-03 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62141d6f2ffa8f7036300da8/7ad9751d-75f2-43d2-878d-b5281d0c24a5/IMG_3593.jpg Whispers of the C - 3. The Verdict The letter said bring someone with you. My heart sank but still something whispered maybe it because I might need someone to hold my hand again. They did after all mentioned that they needed to take more biopsy. With that whispering in my ears, I decided to pull myself together and decided to go out and smile a little bit more, make someone else’s day brighter. https://www.tiffinandart.com/blog/the-verdict monthly 0.5 2022-03-27 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62141d6f2ffa8f7036300da8/7775a19c-634f-4571-92be-64399a22f8eb/FullSizeRender+copy.jpg Whispers of the C - 2.The waiting I have developed this habit of sometimes imagining that I am dancing with someone (whoever my heart desired at that moment) and attending some function or some masquerade party when I am dancing. I call it mental flirtation but who cares, it is a beautiful feeling and made me smile. Nope, it was not day dreaming! Never had the luxury of doing this before. What a waste of years! And I do not need any psychoanalysis of any kind please! I think it never hurts to dream away. Hmm! And it made me forget about the cancer test etc. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62141d6f2ffa8f7036300da8/892e7a25-c34e-4479-88bf-d9db7b3f0fb7/IMG_3764.jpg Whispers of the C - 2.The waiting - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://www.tiffinandart.com/blog/2nd-call monthly 0.5 2022-03-30 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62141d6f2ffa8f7036300da8/2522fc3d-8c9a-4b3a-890a-4ae31f55d41d/IMG_2603.jpg Whispers of the C - 1.Second Call - It is not unsual to get called for a 2nd mammography, had that before, so after two weeks, I took a slow drive back to the hospital, with music blasting in my car. Yes, I am feeling cool, that’s the new me. I have decided to consciously to do things that makes me happy. Tina Turner was singing “The Best” and that has been on repeat even at home. When Natasha gets tired of it, I put on my ear phone and would bounce around the house, making some cool moves. https://www.tiffinandart.com/home daily 1.0 2022-12-04 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62141d6f2ffa8f7036300da8/ab0e583c-34df-4d10-9aee-636dfa24d16a/IMG_3547.jpg Home - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62141d6f2ffa8f7036300da8/fb740f33-02af-4101-aba1-b696fd4271c7/61E35706-41E2-4147-925A-7D25461F2E2B.jpeg Home https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62141d6f2ffa8f7036300da8/948dfee4-267e-4a1f-b348-4e0aa0ef8c12/770FC9AB-7D5E-42E1-9705-69E11660436A.jpeg Home - Dreamt awful lot while I was young - apart from the usual girls’ dreams, wanted to do so many things, some of which clashed with the ideal upbringing in a Hindu family. Dreaming was one way to get your own space where no one could come in, especially with 14 children (9 girls & 5 boys) in the family. Our home was never quiet but we were never alone, had a great time, all the arguments, taking sides, getting into innocent troubles, including physical fights with our brothers. We were a handful … https://www.tiffinandart.com/photos daily 0.75 2023-05-01