As October month ends, I thought I’d squeeze in my thoughts in the pink month about loyalty … Don’t quite know what, there seems to be some kind of a need to say something during this month. Sorry to disappoint you, won’t know when that will end. October’s Breast Cancer month whispers stories of quiet anxieties and slow victories on its own scale.
October month makes it emotional. Think of the many who fought till the very end, think of the many who are still fighting, think of the many who are survivors, think of the many dreading recurrence. Like me.
Cancer is a loyal friend who never abandons you no matter how much you gossip shit about it. You can moan when you feel a sharp shooting pain in your breast & blame it on cancer but at the end of the day, Cancer just keeps quiet & waits for you to say nothing. No apology. It could have been just chest pain, & Cancer always gets the honour to be blamed first, immediately. Not the overeating of fried food!
Before cancer, I never had to worry after every doctor’s visit for blood tests, a pain anywhere. There’s a grey cloud above the head heavy with an unconscious thought of recurrence every time someone mentions someone’s cancer has returned, silently or with the rage of a galloping horse! Even tiredness causes an alarm & you refuse to think it’s old age! Old? Need to take that out of the vocabulary. I can still wear those high stilettos & dance the whole nite! Then blame all the joint pains in my leg on Cancer!
My cancer stands by my side, strong or weak, looking fabulous or messy hair due to too much hair spray the nite before, laughing hilariously at crazy prank reels on Instagram at midnight (thinking who I should forward to?) or silently cry when you realise you’ve lost your old vision & version. For good. But I’m good & still standing, wearing that red lip stick - that’s me. B’cos Cancer walks me graciously on the red carpet, never mind if in reality it is just the uneven asphalt on the parking lot.
Yet somehow we must stay strong, be positive, be grateful for the new boob, the new you & for being alive. No effect on our relaltionship, cancer & me. Loyal.
Awareness is also for people around you who don’t have cancer. So that you don’t send in WhatsApp a link on “How to avoid breast cancer” or “Eat these green grass to cure cancer”! Thank you for thinking of me but Cancer’s staying as my loyal friend.
Thank you for the unconditional visible & invisible support from the thinning passenger list on this journey. Like you, am tired of hearing the word cancer too, for the wrong reasons. What’s the right reason you may ask? When you are cancerously gorgeous, people want to know why & you smile brightly, your red lip whispers the word Cancer. Fascination. But cancer is never tired of me. So cancerously loyal!
Cancer & all things cancer doesn’t disappear just b’cos October disappears for the year. One thin line joins all the months in the year, the unapologetic glam which you carry for the different moods & themes. Then you pretend it is a photo shoot specifically for you, take dozens, scroll through them when you sink in your comfort zone, a little tired, but it brings smiles, deciding which ones will annoy some & social media gets its share. Cancer smiles mischievously. Cancer is loyal all year round.
Will continue to dance madly, continue to create havoc hilarously, continue to inhale & exhale loudly, continue to be unapologetically colourful, all on my own terms, with the right to crumble when I’m tired. I’m good.
ACCEPTANCE of me by me makes it sexy I think. You are welcome to agree or disagree with me. Right, the word sexy seems to add some waves to everything Cancer. Hmm!
Be colourful. Be gorgeous. Be bold. Be tired. Live! Hugs xxx
I heard the Whispers of “October” . . . . . “you’re gorgeous with a pinch of galm”
Oct 2026