52. This thing called Life

How lucky am ? If I didn’t have Cancer, would people often tell me “how lucky you are ”? Lucky to be alive? Lucky to have good friends? Lucky to good health-care? Lucky to be strong & still standing?

I have stopped believing in luck long time ago. I am grateful for this thing called life, not lucky.

I shine (bcos of my outfit) at a glitz & glam party. I get to dance my high-heeled legs out pretending the dress is not short by my legs are long. I laugh at the silly things we did in school, & you get back still standing, reeling in the goodness of it all. I just got back from a school reunion, which was fabulous, mind you.

How lucky am I? No, am grateful that I got to attend.

I stand high on a balcony & see the lighted world around me, so peaceful & quiet that I hear the whispers of the wind. Contented? Yes, I got to feel glamorous without being invited to the after-Oscars-party, without an expensive haute couture dress.

How lucky am I? No, I was genuinely enjoyed myself by being enough for the night.

It’s at that moment one gets hit with waves of the sad, the good, the hurt, the pretence, the silliness, the envy, the mockery, & everything else that pulls down humanity… of which I am part of, whether I like it or not. No, the thought of Cancer did not bring this on. Just by being a human being.

But I smile and say ”am amazed & grateful for how life still keeps me & carries me through its journey without promises of roses & constant kindness”.

How lucky am I? Fuck luck! Someone above wants me around, like it or not.

That’s me. This is me. Just me. Being me. 💖

I heard the Whispers of “my school”….“proud of you”

June 2025