53. Colours
I always saw white as a blank canvas. It waits for colours to be added. It has been a norm.
It symbolises so many things differently. Pure, clean. It can be a pain at times when you wear white, because stains & spots becomes more obvious than the dress. Like my cancer…
Another is ”fresh start, a blank sheet to be filled with dreams” - slightly me but that blank sheet is stained with colours of the past. White is considered ”simple” - am I? I hear laughter in the distance. Since Cancer entered my life, life has never been simple.
Life gets stained with colourful diversities & colours are given & identified with. We are classified by our skin colour, though I agree to disagree that we’ve got the skin colours all wrong. Cancer has the honour to don pink which now seem to be the dominant colour reminder of Cancer. What colour should we assign to Betrayal? Unfairness? Cruelty? Poverty? Starvation? A widow? A divorcee? A victim? A narcissist? A kind soul? etc.
Lately, test results have shown that I’m anaemic (anemia); loosing appetite, iron deficiency & my red blood cells are pink. See, why the colour pink is dominant? Matching! How many of you can say the colour of your blood cells match you? Don’t be jealous of me, okay? P.s. I still feel pinky fine. I don’t stop in my track - just keep walking. No tag around my neck.
It is hard enough to be reminded that I have cancer; whenever I take my medicine every day, whenever I hear or read about Cancer, whenever I have a slight pain, whenever I take blood tests. Then I had to do a correctional operation to last year’s operation, after the summer but downtime was only a month. It wasn’t a big deal for anyone - it was a norm for them. People around you thins out. Not surprisingly even a few family members. And it becomes a norm too. It is a norm for me too, to be just me.
Starting to realise that it has come to a stage where Cancer becomes your personal issue. Some people want to detach from that topic. As long as I “look well and colourful” & put on a smile, I’m cured from cancer because I don’t moan about it nor make it a subject matter. So much so you don’t dare spoil an ambiance. Listen, the world is a huge stage where we are all actors. We don’t get to pick the roles. So I start the day with a red lipstick looking like a movie star, whether anyone like it or not. My co-star for now is my pink Cancer. Waiting to be Oscar nominated next year for the Cancer-free category. Ladies & gentleman, ….
White is the new pink. For now. A white canvas where pink flowers will come alive with strokes of a brush. No pain but smiles. Smiles with hope. For now.
Okay, enough BS. I’m the colour on a white canvas. Unapologetically that’s just me. Before. And For Now.
For those of you who are still part of my colourful garden, thank you for the colours you add to my canvas. You are the colours of support.
Cancer or no cancer, God bless us all.
I heard the Whispers of “colours” ….“you are the colour”
November 2025